Lust
verb
2. feel a strong desire for something.
I was talking with another coach who was very anxious. She felt her client was making a terrible mistake and she needed to do something about it…now. She felt the passion to make something happen, the immediacy of the situation. Her heart was so well-intentioned in fighting for what she thought was best for them, but she had a check in her spirit. Something didn’t seem quite right about the way she was feeling. Or maybe better said, the severity of her emotional reaction felt a little too much.
As she thought it through, she decided what she was feeling was “lust”. Now, most of the definitions of that word have a sexual desire connotation, but she was talking about it more like the definition above. She had a strong desire to do something.
The desire to help another is beautiful.
The belief that things can get better is hopeful.
The willingness to risk a challenging conversation is courageous.
But the feeling that it can’t happen without us and in the timing we determine is arrogant and Godless.
That was a little painful to write. It hits a little too close to home.
What we determined through a long conversation is that this kind of “lust” is the shadow effect of our most noble desires and passion. That desire for restoration is holy and precious. We need so much more of that in the world. But passion can quickly turn to lust when our motives get in the way.
Our need to be the answer.
Our desire to come through.
Our need to be needed.
Our feeling that it can’t happen without us.
Our need to be seen as valuable, intelligent, spiritual, etc.
Our feeling that we need to earn the affirmation, affection, or approval of God.
It is all those ulterior motives that seem to subconsciously drive the operating system in all of us. But that is how a good desire for the restoration of others turns bad.
I was humbled by the integrity of her honesty. Her willingness to wrestle through the apparent nobility of her desire to get to the root of what else is going on below the surface.
She self-corrected. She kept all that holy passion and desire, but checked all those other motives that were surfacing. She’s still heading into that crucial conversation, but with humility, curiosity, and the measured guidance of her God. What an uncommon gift to offer another!
Consider
When is the last time you felt like a situation needed your immediate attention?
Could there have possibly been more going on than just the stated desire to help another?
How would pausing to check your own motives inform a much better outcome from your investment in the situation?