“Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life– gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises.”
~ Oswald Chambers
A very good friend and client of many years asked for advice about a predicament. As a coach, I try not to give advice, but I do ask questions that lead to discovery, which produces ownership/engagement. The solutions emerge from within the other person at the end of a line of curated questions. Then I will often confirm, refine, or suggest things in that direction.
I have been trained to do that and it supports a natural inclination. I have been told it is a strength of mine. It is now an almost subconscious track I go down. I have had friends and family say, “Don’t coach me,” because they see it coming when it happens. But it is really hard to do that for yourself, almost impossible.
My friend said that he clearly felt a prompting from the Lord to do something. He did, but the situation had become very complicated relationally, financially, and spiritually.
My questions were:
What exactly did you feel like God told you to do?
Did get any additional instruction from God or wise counsel?
Did you ask?
Where did you take over the course of things?
Do you feel like you did what God asked or did you do that and then add a bunch of steps on your own initiative?
Do you think your predicament is more related to God’s instruction or your self-determination?
On my better days, I used to pause enough to ask God how my first step might be informed, but sadly that was the end of the conversation. With a little bit of directional insight, I am off to the races in that direction. And it has cost me dearly, much like it was costing my friend.
But I am getting better. I am learning to sit in the answer to the first question. I am taking the first step and then asking for the next. Ironically, I move much slower, but I get there much faster. It is essential that I have a little room in my schedule to get quiet and clear.
I utilize the start of my day, the end of my day, and multiple points in between. It is changing my days, my weeks, and I expect that looking back over the years, the change will be significant. I am utilizing a tool we created called “My Best Month” to force a different rhythm that allows me to more thoughtfully and collaboratively move slower but gets much further than I used to in my frantic self-determination.
Consider
Do you know what you need to do next?
Do you know what you need to do after that?
What process do you employ to make sure you are headed in the right direction and measuring the right steps?