Commemorate
“Live in the day, measure in the decade.”
~ Morgan Snyder
A member of our team likes to note that I love being an Enneagram 8. And I do. But if you know much about that number, you could understand that it might be surprising that someone is so comfortable with that distinction. I have plumbed the depths of how horrible that number can be and I am beginning to enjoy a bit of what a healthier 8 might look like. For example:
Notorious 8’s - Fidel Castro, Saddam Hussein, Donald Trump, Gorbachev
Healthier 8’s - Indira Gandhi, MLK, Franklin Roosevelt, Oscar Schindler
Both the unhealthy and notorious versions of the Enneagram 8 possess incredible will, drive, and intentionality. They are often people of huge accomplishment. And the obvious understanding is that the superpowers of this number can be used for good or evil. I am guessing many of the protagonists and villains in superhero movies are likely 8s as well.
The offering of any great religion and particularly so in the Christian tribe that I identify with is the hope of restoration. That what is not right can become right again. It is that redemptive possibility contained in the Enneagram construct that makes it so compelling to me.
There seemed to be an inevitability of my Enneagram 8, born of so much insecurity and self-protection, that told me that I would eventually end up alone. Divorced, estranged from my children, and without great friendships or partnerships. Though I wrapped my life in the veil of a gospel of truth, light, and restoration, I was pretty much a white-washed tomb: the shiny and nice exterior concealing something rotten inside.
If I had to measure in the decade, this is how I would describe them:
Decade 1 - innocence lost - divorce of parents and exposure to things well ahead of schedule
Decade 2 - looking for identity in all the wrong places
Decade 3 - awakened to newfound identity and faith
Decade 4 - taking a message of freedom and creating a system of control
Decade 5 - restored life, family, and identity - a new beginning
Decade 6 - the restoration of joy, purpose, and a more meaningful life
And these decades or seasons are hallmarked by some pretty pivotal events. In our Life Plan process, we call them “lifegates.”
Fall 1982 - 40 years ago - began attending a Christian university that completely changed my life
Fall 2002 - 20 years ago - attended a men’s event where I found a new identity, and healing, and began the process of restoring everything broken in my life
Fall 2013 - almost 10 years ago - began coaching my first client
One of the vagaries of my Enneagram 8 is that I am always moving forward. I don’t really look back which can be enormously helpful. But I am not prone to celebrate or commemorate much as well. But this month, I am returning to the place in Colorado that so impacted my life twenty years ago (this month, actually). I am going there to work on a manuscript for a book, but I am also going to do what I am not prone to do.
I am going to measure in the decade.
I am going to memorialize the last 40 years, the last 20, and the last 10. I am going to celebrate that while I am not the man I eventually want to be, I am no longer the man I used to be. I am going to note the progress I’ve made and forgive everything else.
Consider
Are you aware of the progress you’ve made in your life?
Are you comfortable noting that progress?
Do you need to schedule some time to commemorate what you’ve overcome across the decades? Some time to maybe forgive yourself and release the rest?