Unheard
“Blindness cuts us off from things, but deafness cuts us off from people.”
- Helen Keller
We are continually learning the value of practicing what we preach. One of the areas we conform most rigorously is in terms of meeting governance. We have a strict regimen that we have to find sufficient reason to disrupt.
We have daily check-ins or huddles
We have a weekly Monday morning check-in for the week ahead
We have a team leadership meeting every two weeks
We have ad hoc topical meetings to address unique issues
We have quarterly strategic planning offsite meetings
We have an annual planning offsite meeting
We just finished our most recent quarterly meeting and it was other-worldly. Our quarterly meetings follow a similar pattern. They are offsite, at least half a day, and carry similar agenda. We connect deeply as a team, do a deep dive on the cultural anchors of core values and purpose, and then review our vision. We are reminding ourselves of who we are at the deepest and most definitional level. We are looking at the inspirational, but detailed picture of our future in our vision statement and marking our progress. We are focusing on the most essential next steps to ensure that vision is fulfilled.
We address issues, solve problems, and assign responsibilities to the things that must get done.
Our deep connection time always includes asking a couple of key questions. The wise counsel of a gifted friend had us add a third that will likely become part of our process. It is a stopping to truly hear a few essential things. For we all suffer not from the things that aren’t said, but the things that go unheard.
We answer the following questions for everyone else on our team:
What do you value most about me as a member of this team?
What do you find most challenging about having me as a member of the team?
What is the one thing you think I would least like to hear? (or said another way, what do I need to hear that I am ignoring or don’t want to hear)
The first is easy to do with people you value and deeply respect. The second is the most valuable, but can only be shared with people where there is a deep respect and trust of one another. Knowing the one thing that I need to change that would help me become of a better version of myself is the best information I could possibly receive. And possibly the hardest to hear.
But that third question was nearly impossible. We had 24 hours to come up with our answers, but for most of us, we didn’t know what we would say until we were well into the conversation. But what emerged was nothing short of glorious.
This won’t just intend a better version of each of us.
This won’t just intend a better quarter for us as a team.
This stuff, if embraced, will change the rest of our lives. It already has started doing so.
I started imagining all the other people I wished were experiencing something similar. I wished the table were longer and more of them were there. I ran through the faces of all the clients we work with and hoped it for them as well. It reminded me that there is a better version of every person and that them becoming better is an essential building block of every organization finding a better version of itself.
It is the great hope found in our purpose statement: Restoring leaders and organizations to their original intended purpose through coaching.
Consider
Are you operating alone?
Are the people to your left and right truly like-hearted?
Do they believe the things you believe and are they fighting to accomplish the same things you are?
How much is it costing you not to be aligned with “partners” in this way?”