“This is my office, also known as the hunting ground.”
- Colin Robinson
A friend of mine has been trading quotes like this with me; there is an abundance online. Colin Robinson is a vampire from the wildly inappropriate “What We Do in the Shadows” series based on the movie by the same name. You might notice that I haven’t done a “Redemptive Movie Review” about that one.
Typical vampires are known to literally suck the life out of others to perpetuate their own lives, but Colin Robinson is a different sort of vampire. As an “energy vampire”, he sucks the life out of others by boring them with pointless stories and useless information about things no one else really cares about. He has no self-awareness and everyone he encounters is an unwilling victim of his selfishness.
“Energy vampires drain people's energy merely by talking to them. We either bore you with a long conversation...or...we enrage you. In fact, you probably know an energy vampire. We're the most common kind of vampire.”
Okay, honest check. Whose face came to mind as you read that last paragraph? We all know people who suck the life out of us, right?
I think, for the majority of my life, I have been an energy vampire. My need to be the center of attention, receive validation, and have all my thoughts and opinions be the most important ones, dominated others people’s experiences with me.
I am a couple of decades into my recovery, but as the twelve-steppers say, I will always be an addict. A lot of the work I did over those 20 years is helping me change the way I enter a room and the experience of others who find me there.
I can only serve others from a cup that is not only full but overflowing. I can’t replenish others from an empty well. There is no nourishment to share from a bare cupboard. Deeper still, I have to feel a deep sense of validation in order to validate others. I have to enjoy a significant level of success if I am going to share the spotlight and wildly celebrate others’ successes.
As Kath Temple articulates so powerful in her video “On Knowing Happiness”, some of us light up the room when we enter it and others light it up when we leave. After spending most of my life as the latter, I am trying hard to offer more of the former.
Opposite of the hilarious Colin Robinson, I want to be a source of energy and light. For the people and organizations I meet with, I want to bring momentum, power, and life.
I was on a coaching call earlier this week with a client who has become a precious friend. We were reflecting on an example of someone I had engaged. He paid me one of the best compliments I had received in some time. He said, “You were bringing energy to the other person. That’s what you do, you offer tremendous energy to everyone you engage.”
There are probably others who wouldn’t agree, but at least with him, there is a small marker of progress. I’ll take it.
Consider
Do you light up a room when you enter?
Do you light it up when you leave?
Do you know people who suck the life out of others?
Is that person sometimes you?